I thought after my surgery and through my subsequent recovery that I would blog… a lot. Clearly, that has not been the case as I haven’t posted once since, for no other reason than I’ve been incredibly lazy since going under the knife. Lazy and in a weird place. A place where my heartstrings have grown greater in number and more easily pulled, a place where my anxiety, which is usually kept at bay through 40+miles/week, has reared its ugly head, and a place where a tiny case of OCD has developed (seriously, my house has never been cleaner, and things have been in such order. I mean, the bar wasn’t set high though). A place where I watched States, Hardrock, Olympic Trials, and the Olympics while barely being able to walk which was simultaneously incredibly inspiring/motivating and depressing. A place where I have thrown out all goals for 2017 but am determined to absolutely CRUSH it in 2018. A place where my instant gratification, if some is good more must be better, I want it and I want it now self has had to learn to chill the fuck out. A place where solo pity parties and celebrations of the tiniest improvement in mobility have been had.
After eight and half weeks, I finally got out of my boot and into a brace yesterday. The light at the end of the tunnel has started to shine a little brighter. I know the work has only just begun, and it will still be a while before I can start running (I was banned from asking my PT about running again until next week). BUT I am thankful to be where I am, thankful to have come so far (when I was falling down the stairs on crutches 6 weeks ago, I would’ve KILLED to be here), thankful to still be a part of the running community in some or fashion. If it weren’t for hanging out with the RunWILD crew on Tuesdays and Saturdays and for amazing friends who have let me bitch and moan, I’d be certifiable by now. So, not that any gave a flip or wanted an update, but there it is. LOVE YOU, ALL (but that’ll change once my heart becomes hardened again after upping the mileage . . . )